With the increasing use of the internet comes the risk of online infidelity which can lead to marital problems and can even cause a marriage to break down. These have become known as emotional affairs. Sadly, many people in a relationship have become addicted to online chat rooms where they can indulge in sexually explicit chat in real-time with total strangers.

For a cheating wife or cheating husband this is a game which can turn into something more serious if it gets a hold.

A climate of permissiveness pervades many of these chat rooms and instant messages sent privately between two people allow them to engage in erotic chats without the risk of being caught by their spouse. Web cams can be viewed, voice chat can be turned on instead of typing in text, and pictures and files of a sexual or personal nature can be transferred secretly by linking peer-to-peer. For a cheating wife or cheating husband this is a game which can turn into something more serious if it gets a hold.

The anonymity provided by chat rooms allows users to discuss their intimate feelings without feeling embarrassed. Initially, chat conversations may be fairly innocent but when someone gets a sympathetic response from a fellow chatter this can turn into a deep emotional attachment to them. The messages often then become intensely personal and can develop into an emotional affair.

Although the emotional affair may stay purely online, the danger is that it can develop into a full-blown affair with secret phone calls and even clandestine meetings. Even if it stays on a non-physical plane it can still be devastating for a wife or husband to discover that his partner has been indulging in an emotional internet affair with a virtual stranger.

The wife or husband who is doing the cheating may believe that it is all harmless escapism and they are doing nothing wrong but their spouse will feel a deep sense of betrayal knowing that their spouse has been discussing intimate details with a virtual stranger. The emotional damage caused by an online affair is very real to the innocent partner.

Why do people have online affairs?

Studies have shown that it is a form of emotional escape into an online fantasy world to escape the problems and realities of everyday life. Anyone can assume an online persona which is totally unlike their real one. A neglected wife can have her pick of cyber partners who fall for her on-screen sexy persona and who are assuming a persona themselves as a hot lover. Usually the reality is quite different as the hot lovers may be husbands themselves who are also indulging in their own little fantasy world.

Warning signs that your partner is cheating online.

• Is your partner’s main interest visiting chat rooms?
• Does your partner stay up late on the computer while you are alone in bed?
• Do they want to be left alone while they are on the computer?
• Do they act secretive if you enter the room whilst they are on the computer?
• Do they get irritated when you question the amount of time they are spending on the computer?
• Do they spend more time on the computer than with you or the family?
• Do you feel that they are neglecting the household?

If the answer to most of these questions is yes then your partner may be having an online affair.

Getting absolute proof that your partner is having an online affair.

You can’t be absolutely sure about your suspicions about an online affair though, unless you manage to get physical evidence from their computer. The best way to find out if they are using their PC to cheat online is by buying some computer monitoring software which can secretly record all activity on your partner’s PC.

There are quite a few computer monitoring software programs you can buy but the ones which I can strongly recommend are;

Acespy
Sniperspy
PC Pandora

So, if you really do want to find out if your partner is having an online affair then any one of these programs will find out everything you need to know about what your partner gets up to online. If you do eventually decide to buy computer monitoring software to get evidence then be ready to deal with the hurt and pain if your partner is an online cheat.

Can a marriage survive an online affair?

Although an online affair is a very distressing thing to happen to a marriage it can survive, but changes must be made by both partners. There are always underlying reasons why affairs happen and online affairs often have the same root causes, one being taking your spouse for granted causing them to look elsewhere for emotional fulfilment.

If your marriage is being hurt by an affair then “How To Survive an Affair” by marriage expert Dr. Frank Gunzburg is worth looking into.

Anthony Bradley is a writer for http://saveyourmarriage.co.uk which has many more articles on the subject of marriage which you can find on the articles page

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