Erectile dysfunction is a fairly common cause of a sexless marriage but it isn’t the sort of thing many men care to talk about due to embarrassment. No matter whether it’s called erectile dysfunction, loss of libido, impotence, or anything else, erection problems are something which many men have to face at some time in their life.

The reasons for impotence are varied, but what is so annoying is that tens of millions of men have some type of erectile dysfunction – yet less than half of them try to get help for it.

Because of embarrassment or simply feeling like there’s nothing that can be done, erectile dysfunction is often ignored when something could be done about it. The fact is, you can prevent and treat most erection problems when you know what they are, what causes them, and what treatment for impotence is available.

Symptoms of impotence

• An inability to maintain an erection
• The tendency to maintain only brief erections
• The inability to be consistent in erections

Impotence in young men

It may surprise you just how many men between the ages of 20 to 40 are also experiencing the problem of erectile dysfunction. Many younger men don’t seek advice about their erectile dysfunction because they think that it’s something that only happens to older men. The knowledge that this is a problem which affects men of all ages may encourage them to get the help they need instead of hiding it from others.

Causes of impotence

It’s important to realise that it’s not just physical problems such as high blood pressure or diabetes that are possible reasons for impotence but also emotional and psychological problems.

Stress is often a big factor in relation to loss of libido.

It can be difficult to focus on the enjoyment of sexual activities when you have too much stress in your life. While it’s impossible to eliminate all of the stress from our lives we can certainly reduce it. It’s time to take a good look at your life. If you having too much stress because of work, finances, relationships, or other concerns you need to do something about it quickly.

Emotional issues

For many men, erectile dysfunction isn’t the result of any physical problem with their body. Instead it is the result of emotional or psychological problems they are experiencing or have experienced in the past.

Harbouring some kind of grudge against your partner could be the root cause of your impotence. Some men aren’t able to get or keep an erection after they find out their partner has cheated on them or betrayed them in some way. They may have repressed anger about this and many other aspects of the relationship that are nagging them.

Counseling is a very effective type of treatment for this type of problem. It can help a man overcome the problems that are stopping him from having a healthy sex life.

One cause of ED is when men feel there is too much pressure on them to perform sexually but have low self-esteem. As a result they feel overly anxious about how they will perform in the eyes of their partner. The stress caused by such expectations can result in erectile dysfunction.

Some men have had their self-esteem so damaged by previous partners that they aren’t confident in their abilities to satisfy their current partner. A man who is afraid he can’t perform sexually is likely to retreat emotionally from intimate relationships. In fact, some men begin fights with their spouse just so they can avoid the real issue.

Exhaustion can also result in erectile dysfunction.

It is not just the physical exhaustion however as it is possible for a man to be mentally exhausted from the strain of trying to cope with worry. As a rule, men don’t talk much about what’s worrying them and the internal stress caused by hiding their problems from the world takes such a toll on them that they simply get worn out by it all.

Smoking and impotence

Your lifestyle can be a cause of erectile dysfunction as well. Research has shown that males who smoke, are overweight, don’t eat a healthy diet, and that don’t exercise have a higher chance of it occurring. Smoking is a major cause as it can have a bad effect on blood flow through the veins and arteries. Smoking has also been associated with lower testosterone levels.

Over the counter erectile dysfunction remedy

Because so many men are taking medication as a treatment of impotence there is a misconception that these products are completely safe. While they can be extremely helpful there are some side effects which you should know about. With some of these ED medications there can be problems such as your vision or hearing being affected. Being aware of these possible side effects is very important.

By finding out more about erectile dysfunction medication you can make up your mind if you want to use an over the counter erectile dysfunction remedy rather than seeing your doctor.

Getting help for erectile dysfunction problems

Now that you know a little more about the causes of sexual dysfunction you can seek help in the knowledge that you are not the only one man with the problem. Whatever happens, never feel too embarrassed to talk to your partner or to your doctor about your erectile dysfunction.

Any man affected by erectile dysfunction is recommended to see a doctor instead of attempting to deal with it on their own. By putting off medical attention you could be allowing problems to intensify when they could have been addressed early on. Erectile dysfunction is a common problem but that doesn’t mean you can’t overcome it with the help of the right treatment.

You may be asking yourself is there any way to save a marriage when it has hit rock bottom? Is there any possibility of saving a marriage when it seems no hope is left?

Well, the good news is that saving a marriage from divorce is quite possible if you are prepared to try. And if you succeed, then it’s almost certain that you and your spouse will have an even closer relationship than ever before. So when you ask if there is any way to save a marriage I would give a definite “Yes!”

Will giving your marriage a second chance work?

A survey was conducted in the USA on hundreds of people who considered their marriage as “unhappy.” The results of the survey discovered that couples who agreed to delay their plans to divorce and give their marriage another chance rated their marriage as “happy” a few years later. So it just goes to prove that if you try hard enough you can put an end to your marriage problems and be happy once again.

Where did the love go?

No matter how big the problems are in a marriage, most spouses still have a lingering trace of care and concern for their partner. This is not surprising because you probably married them in the first place because you had a lot of love and respect for them, didn’t you?

Sometimes your spouse will have changed for the worse over the years, developing attitudes and personality traits that make them seem less attractive as a person than when you were first married. However, if you can recall how they used to be, and all the good things that first attracted you to him or her, there is a good chance of rekindling all the feelings you once had.

Can you save a marriage by yourself though?

One of the most misguided beliefs about saving a marriage is that both partners have to be willing to save it. Although it’s true that both partners have to renounce any thoughts of divorce eventually, one spouse can still do something on their own to turn things around. This will give the marriage a little breathing space whilst the other reconsiders.

The rationale is that if you alter your attitudes towards your spouse, it might encourage them to change their behavior, creating a less tense atmosphere.

Get sound marriage advice.

One of the problems of trying to save your marriage on your own is that you might be too emotionally involved to make sound decisions. This might cause you to go over the top and do things you shouldn’t do. Taking advice from an informed, impartial intermediary is so important. Seeing a marriage counselor is the most obvious choice but sometimes one partner will refuse to take part, which makes it more difficult.

If you can’t get your spouse to participate then you will have to attempt it on your own – but you will need practical advice on how to save the marriage. You can find lots of good advice in marriage self-help books and courses that have helped many to save a marriage.

What if only one of you wants to save the marriage?

Some of the advice in them has worked even when only one spouse wanted to save the marriage. Even if you are the only one trying to keep your marriage together, it is still possible to turn things round by making some changes in your own behavior.

Of course, if your partner is willing to try too, it will improve your chances dramatically.

So, if you feel that there is still a chance to save your marriage then it’s time to start doing something positive about it.

Don’t just sit back waiting for things to happen. Now is the time for you to take action if you want to save your marriage.

Relationships are possibly one of the most important aspects in everyday life. So the breakdown of any relationship is very upsetting. Marriage is one of the most sacred relationships individuals can share. So when a marriage breaks down, for most it is a devastating experience.

Life Coaching is an effective way to help repair and save a marriage. There are lots of reasons why a marriage may start to suffer, but with love and understanding many marriages can be salvaged.

It’s not easy, it often takes a lot of time, effort and compromise but if the end result is happy married life surely it’s worth it? Life Coaching helps a couple understand each others expectations and needs. A life coach can help you understand how to fulfil each other and help the relationship succeed.

Finding a life coach in the UK can be frustrating and difficult. Life Coach Directory is a great way to find a life coach near you in the United Kingdom. You can search the site by town, postcode or county to find your local coach.

You can see details of each coach’s experience, qualifications, fees and contact details. If you live in the UK and your marriage needs a helping hand don’t delay visit Life Coach Directory today

Couples who are having marriage problems may be considering seeing a marriage counselor but are worried about what to expect. After all, it’s not easy to talk to a complete stranger about your hurt feelings and all the things that have made both partners unhappy.

It’s even more difficult to change the behaviours that caused the unhappiness. However, by the time most couples decide to seek marriage counselling, the problems in their marriage have usually left them in too much distress to deal with it them themselves.

Some couples are worried that the issues that they must discuss with a marriage counsellor might be too painful, but a good marriage counsellor can help steer a couple toward the type of solutions that can resolve issues in a positive and constructive manner.

Marriage counselling works by addressing the underlying marital problems, and separating the hurt and anger from the actual issues. The couple is encouraged to express their feelings both together and individually in a constructive way. Usually, when a couple fights, they have a tendency to lash out in ways that are intended to hurt or control each other, which only leads to more problems.

It is very hard to deal with marriage issues when the causes of the underlying problems are not even recognized. A good marriage counselor will help to bring the underlying issues out in the open and help couples understand what caused the problems in the first place. The benefits of marriage counseling cannot be overstated, as it can put marital problems in perspective, and make them seem less overwhelming.

When couples are in marriage counseling, they are encouraged, with the guidance of the counsellor, to discuss their true feelings without fear of retribution or humiliation. Talking about your feelings can go a long way in helping a couple begin the task of repairing the damage in their marriage that has been building up over time.

It’s not easy to discuss your innermost feelings to a complete stranger but it may be the only course of action left if you want to save your marriage.

Marriage counsellors are not the miracle workers some people think they are. What they do is facilitate communication between the wife and the husband so that marital issues can be resolved if that is what the couple really wants.

Marriage counselling does not work in many difficult cases but may be worth a try if it helps to save your marriage.

A relationship or marriage may be a long-term investment that is always in need of maintenance and room for growth – however having a happy spouse may not be as elusive and hard to have as one might think.

The Following Are 5 Easy Golden Keys To A Happy Spouse:

1) Validate Your Spouse

Even the most easy-going person would like to be validated for his or her opinion, feelings and experiences and even the toughest-skinned person feels deflated, unfulfilled, unhappy even betrayed, backstabbed and unsupported when he or she in invalidated. It especially hurts when the invalidation comes from someone he or she loves.

So a simple key to your partner’s happiness (although it may be hard to do at times especially when you think your spouse is wrong) is to validate your spouse in any area that he or she needs the validation.

If your spouse is wrong eventually he or she will find out on his or her own but in the meantime he or she will feel supported and in a state of happiness because you have his or her back.

2) Have Fun

All because life and relationships can be complicated at times doesn’t mean that your relationship cannot revolve around fun and laughter. What is there to lose?

There have been studies done that prove that employees are actually more productive when they are having fun, so not only will your relationship run smoother and more productively, your partner will be happy, the two of you will bond, sparks will get to fly all the time and your spouse will associate you and your relationship as an uplifting and joyful experience to share.

3) Compliment Your Spouse

The easiest going person as well as the toughest skinned person both has something in common – both want to be acknowledged for their good intention whether that is what they do, say or feel.

So why not have a happy spouse by simply giving your partner a compliment and/or acknowledging a job well done or say that you understand his or her good intent – it takes a moment to do and his/her happiness and resulting appreciation is an investment into your relationship that will last forever.

4) Choose To Have Unconditional Love Towards Your Spouse

When two people share a partnership and relationship together there are going to be conditions, especially when requirements, needs and wants are concerned.

However, you can choose to have unconditional love towards your spouse regardless of what your partner does, thinks,or feels – in other words you never need to withdraw love or be in judgment of your partner.

When you choose to have unconditional love towards your spouse even if you don’t say anything (although starting off a conversation with “I love You” doesn’t hurt) your partner will feel your unconditional love and he/she will express his/her love in return by being in a state of happiness and joy.

5) Show Your Spouse Love In The Way He/She Feels Love

At our Centre we talk about what we call Communication Modes or Love Strategies which are different ways that people communicate as well as give and receive love.

Some people feel loved when others do things for them, other people feel loved when they hear the words “I love You”, others feel loved when they are understood and others feel loved when they are touched in certain ways (not necessarily sexual, maybe holding hands, touching one’s hair or being hugged).

Everyone is unique so whichever the ways are, the important thing is to find out what your partner’s communication mode or love strategies are so you can express your love to him/her and make sure that he/she will feel love your love for him or her.

The end result once again is a spouse who is always happy because he (she) can feel your love.

These 5 keys are not only simple in nature but these keys are also simple to carry out on a regular basis so both of you will have the time, energy and uplifting reinforcement to continue your happiness together now and always.

by Melody Chase

It happens to the best of us, for one reason or another your partner is not physically attracted to you anymore.

Your partner may be stressed or distracted, emotionally shutdown due to a build up of relationship deficiencies and toxicities including loss of respect or judgment of you, or he/she is having an affair or the two of you are on a relationship break or are already broken up.

Whatever the case may be if the attraction was once there then it is possible to get that attraction back.

The following are 10 Simple Tips that can reignite that flame in your relationship:

1) Be Detached:

When we are attached to anything in our life, we have a tendency to make decisions based on fear or desperation when it comes to what it is that we are attached to and nothing repels a person more than someone who is coming across as desperate. So when you get into a state of detachment you win in at least two ways

a) You are sensible enough to make rational, functional decisions

b)You do not care about the outcome of the situation so you will come across as stable and confident.

2) Be Confident:

Speaking of being confident, the reality is being confident is attractive and appealing and these are the two things that you want to be to your partner. So fake it if you have to but make it your mission to look, feel and just plain be confident about yourself.

3) Be Just a Tad Flirty:

Less is more – flirt just a little bit so your partner gets a hint of what you are like when you flirt. Be like a Movie Trailer Teaser so your partner is left wanting more, even just simple things like if you are a woman – flipping your hair back or playing with your necklace as examples.

4) Look Good Without Over Doing It:

Getting a complete make-over and plastic surgery gives the impression that you have an agenda to get your partner back and/or attracted to you and if he/she is not ready,this will push him/her away, so just subtly dress a little bit more provocatively and put some highlights in your hair and a little more make-up, maybe a new perfume or cologne etc.

5) Match Level of Physical Commitment:

At our Centre we talk about Matching Level of Commitment meaning that if you pursue someone the other person’s 1st instinct if he (she) is at a different level of commitment is to run away – therefore you must match his/her level of commitment.

The same goes for physical commitment, if he/she steps back, you step back, he/she moves in closer,you move in closer and then every once in a while throw in a little brush of a leg or an arm “by accident” so there is a little element of surprise.

6) Compliment:

If your partner has closed him/herself off physically from you there is usually an underlying emotional reason, so might as well make any interaction that you have with your partner an emotionally pleasant one and give compliments to your partner whenever possible without over doing it, this will warm him/her up both emotionally and physically.

7) Be Unconditional:

Let’s face it the world is a conditional place, so one of the best ways to help let your partner’s guard down is by being unconditionally loving towards him or her, no matter what he (she) is doing or saying or not doing or saying – love him/her anyway.

Even if you don’t say it out loud, make a decision to feel this way towards him (her) as well as not criticize him/her about anything and he (she) will begin to physically loosen up as well as emotionally begin letting his/her guard down.

8) Be Fun Without Overdoing It:

O.k. no swinging off the chandelier, being too much fun indicates that you are trying too hard, so just be fun in an easy, breezy relaxed way and your partner will follow suit. Plus laughter is a great bonding experience and promotes the release of the feel good brain chemical Serotonin, so your partner will be able to connect and have a sense of well-being around you.

9) Validate:

Nothing shuts a person down more than constantly being invalidated and since everything is made up of energy. Your partner’s interest and energy for sex is going take a plunge as well, so try out an experiment and see what happens if you keep validating your partner even if he/she is completely wrong in his (her) views and see how much more affectionate and attracted he (she) will be towards you overtime.

10) Be Open To Others Flirting With You:

You may be one of those people who are 100% loyal and attentive to your partner and the thought of you flirting with others makes you cringe. However, in this situation a little, just a touch of flirting with others is just what it takes to make your partner realize that other people find you attractive.

A little flirting with others will get your partner thinking that he or she may be missing out on something or is going to miss out on something if he (she) doesn’t start reconsidering his/her current decision of not giving you the time of day romantically, physically or sexually.

So these tips may sound simple but simplicity is a good thing so that you do not push your partner further away, with just the right balance of detachment and interest before you know it you will literally be back in the arms of your partner.

Melody Chase is a Relationship Counsellor and Writer at the Centre For Life Management. If you wish to save your Marriage or relationship alone, we can help! Check out our breakthrough Counsellor in a Box” system at “http://www.counsellorinabox.com

For more information on how to put the spark back in your relationship and to build a strong intimate relationship foundation for you and your partner check out our Counsellor in a Box Home Study Relationship Program @
“http://www.counsellorinabox.com

When a marriage goes bad it can be a shock to the couple’s friends and relatives. After all, most couples having marriage problems try to hide the fact that the marriage is not as happy as it seems.

That is understandable because it is hard to admit your failings to people close to you.

Sadly, a marriage can go bad on anyone, not only for an incompatible and dysfunctional couple but even for a loving and committed couple.

To find out why a marriage can go bad in the first place you need to understand three of the major problems that can happen in a marriage.

Marriage Problem #1 – Taking Each Other For Granted

When a couple start taking each other for granted this is the start of the downward spiral in the marriage. Everyday routines and stresses can slowly cause you to drift apart emotionally and destroy the closeness you once had. Before you know it, you are like two strangers who don’t even bother to think about the other person anymore.

So what can you do to stop taking each other for granted?

Well, you can start doing things together again as a couple, going out on dates just like you did at when you first met. In fact, if you are the husband, to make it seem like a real date leave the house and pick her up just like you would do if you didn’t live together. That would be fun, wouldn’t it?

You can also start showing more appreciation for your spouse to show them that you still care for him or her. Just do something spontaneous to surprise her, which can put some zest into your marriage and reduce the tedium of everyday life.

Marriage Problem #2 – Built Up Resentments.

Resentment, judgment, disappointment and lack of respect can slowly destroy the love you once had for your partner.

When resentments builds up the love shuts down in a relationship and the couple loses touch emotionally. The result is that the intimacy that holds their marriage together slowly dies.

So as a couple or individually each partner needs to release all their pent up frustrations and resentments so that the love, which is still flickers deep down, can rekindle and burn brightly once again.

Marriage Problem #3 – Toxicity and Deficiency Overload

If the couple has dysfunctional behavior patterns caused by unresolved past hurts and experiences – the relationship is going to be full of toxicities and deficiencies.

In simple terms, toxicities are things in your marriage that you don’t want and deficiencies are things that you do want but are not getting in your marriage.

A marriage that is full of toxicities and deficiencies can only endure them for so long, until it cracks under the strain.

When this happens, the couple will then start to destroy the relationship, or start to avoid each other because of all the negative conditioning built-up from all the toxicity and deficiency.

Eventually the marriage isn’t going to work anymore until the toxicities and deficiencies are recognized and dealt with. Unfortunately, many couples are not aware of this and no one tells them how to handle all the problems that have built up.

What can you do to solve marriage problems?

If you are faced with these major problems in your marriage, it can be saved with sound relationship advice. With the right system what was once a marriage gone bad can once again be a healthy and happy marriage.

Thankfully, a relationship system has been developed for dealing with all the problems that can develop in any marriage.

• One that will show you how to heal all the past wounds and release the pent up emotions caused by them.
• That will strengthen your basic relationship skills and enable you to have purposeful communication with your spouse once again.
• That will help you with conflict resolution and negotiation.
• And show you how to be more compatible with your spouse so that both of you have your needs met in the marriage.

The Counsellor in a Box Home Study Program is such a system and could be just what you need to save your marriage.

This is a proven system that has helped many couples overcome almost all kinds of difficult and challenging relationship and marriage problems.

It was created by full time Relationship/Marriage counsellors and coaches who run their own relationship center in Canada, and unquestionably know what they are teaching or talking about. In fact, to prove it, they even train professional counselors themselves so you know you are dealing with bona fide relationship experts.

You can find out how they can help solve your own marriage problems here…

“http://www.counsellorinabox.com

An affair is one of the worst things that can happen to a marriage, as I know from bitter experience. Getting over an affair is tough but sadly, at this very moment, thousands of people are suffering the overwhelming emotional pain of an affair.

Questions about the affair flood into your head and all you want is the answers to try to make sense of it all before it drives you sick with worry.

Images of what might have happened during the affair flash through your mind making for sleepless night trying to eliminate them from your thoughts.

Then there is the feeling of betrayal and the restoration of trust.

You wonder if your spouse will cheat on you again and you become suspicious of everything they do. After all, you don’t want to be taken for a fool again, do you?

With all this going on in your head it’s no wonder an affair can lead to severe depression.

Finding out the reason for the affair preys on your mind and eats away inside. I know from experience that talking about the affair to my spouse is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

What exactly should you say to your spouse if you want to know the details of the affair?

How do you get over an affair and save the marriage?

Dr. Frank Gunzburg

It’s obvious that you need advice from someone with vast experience of helping people recover from an affair. That man is Frank Gunzburg.

For more than thirty years, he has helped thousands of people to survive an affair and save their marriage. He knows what works and what doesn’t and he will give you the answers to all of the questions that torment you after an affair.

You will be glad to know you can get a free course to show you how to get over an affair right now by clicking on the link below.

Click Here For Your Free Course

It will only take a few seconds and you will immediately discover one crucial question you need to ask yourself after an affair. In fact, it’s the first question that must be asked if you want to recover from an affair.

A man in the chat rooms ran away with my wife and ended my marriage. My wife actually met him on Yahoo Chat as many cheating wives have done, and still are doing at this very moment.

I haven’t seen him in person, which is lucky for him, but I know someone who has and they helped me to find his picture on the internet. He is not handsome and looks quite old, even though he is younger than me, which is a relief because she hasn’t chosen someone that makes me feel inferior.

I may regret writing this someday but at the moment I don’t really care about the future and it makes me feel better to get it off my chest instead of bottling it all up. Bottom line is I am past caring what happens now.

As I have no other way of relieving my frustrations this true story about his cheating with my wife will have to do… for now. If he doesn’t like it then tough because it is the truth. I have lost everything so what more can I lose?

Of course, I realize that my wife is not blameless either because as the saying goes, it takes two to tango. However knowing my wife a lot better than he does, I am sure she has another reason for running away with him, which he might not realize just yet.

The danger of chat rooms to marriage…

This so-called man carried out a seedy internet love affair with my wife via Yahoo Chat, which is how many sad, lonely men like him get their jollies with cheating wives. They build up a strange little fantasy world around their online girlfriend without a thought about the other man involved, the husband.

There I was, sat in the house while my wife was on her laptop talking in the chat room, not realizing plans were being made to run way with a man who regarded her as his girlfriend and whom she only knows superficially. Who would think that merely sitting and typing on a PC could turn into an affair?

Well, the fact is, this is happening right now to many thousands of unsuspecting husbands all over the world – and wives too for that matter. Take this as a warning if your wife or husband uses chat rooms a lot.

In most cases, the man she falls for online is a lot different to be man he pretends to be. In fact, lying is one of the main activities in internet chat rooms, because the truth is often not very interesting. Can’t let the truth spoil their sad little fantasies can they?

And this goes for the cheating wife too. She presents only her best side to him, leaving out important details such as the fact that she is still married and living with her unsuspecting husband who really cares for her. After all, she can’t let minor details like being married get in the way of an internet love affair, can she?

Back to the story…

In the weeks before my wife sneaked off with him, she didn’t even show the telltale signs of cheating… you know things like suddenly starting to take more interest in her appearance. I think she knew he was no looker himself (see his picture… lol) so she didn’t even have to make herself look good for him.

Anyway, the culmination of all this online cheating is that this man came over from Norway to run away with what he termed his online girlfriend – my wife in other words.

She never gave me any clue that this was going to happen and left late at night using a cover story to deceive me about her real intentions. This happened five weeks ago and I haven’t seen or spoken to her since, but I have heard a few things of what she and him have been doing and where they have been.

Looking back, I ask myself why I didn’t see the signs of cheating. Maybe I was too trusting and missed them but there weren’t that obvious. As they say, hindsight is a wonderful thing.

What he does not know is that my wife is very demanding and will start to control every aspect of his life in very short time. Apparently, he has a lot of money, which he will need if he wants to keep hold of her. I have no doubt that money was the clincher to the deal – you only have to look at his photo to see that looks were not important to my wife.

I think he will finally realize that she isn’t the woman she made herself out to be in the Yahoo chat rooms. I know how she acted online and, believe me, that is not the real woman I was married to.

Over the years, I have realized that she is a liar and a control freak who gets what she wants no matter what and will make your life miserable until she gets it. I really doubt she is capable of feeling real love for any man.

She has always been a good actor and liar, which is a handy thing to be when you are talking in the chat room packed full of men, many of them looking for sex chat. Men can be such suckers for a sweet voice.

Call me stupid but, despite all her faults, she is still my wife and I did care for her but she never gave me any respect for all I did for her. She finally showed me the ultimate disrespect by leaving me for a man she barely knows

So what will the future bring?

How long this affair will last until he realizes what my wife is all about is anyone’s guess. Looking at his picture (which I found on his various internet profiles), I suspect he is a weak and lonely man and will put up with her demands just to keep her, but I very much doubt it will be a loving relationship. She will treat him like a doormat once she has him under her spell. It will be a give and take relationship, with her doing most of the taking as usual.

He will find that out before very long but he may be stupid enough like me to put up with it. My fervent hope is that she messes with his head just as she has messed with mine for many years, and that their relationship falls apart in a very short time.

Whatever, happens, I am resigned to the fact that she won’t be coming back to me and that my marriage is over. Time is a great healer as I have found out after losing loved ones before, but it will never hide the scars.

Update:

My wife came back after just over 6 weeks away and it looks like this internet affair has fizzled out. I don’t think it was anything to do with real love anyway on her part. She has shown no remorse over what she has done, which is par for the course.

We are not arguing over what has happened because what’s done is done and life is miserable enough anyway without adding to it. We are keeping our distance from each other apart from discussing the practicalities of everyday living in a civil manner.

It’s some comfort that she is not with anyone else but the marriage is over now and I am just waiting to find a place to move out to. It’s time to move on and rebuild my life.

The title says it all really; my wife just left me out of the blue for another man. And do you know where she met him? In a chat room.

She had been going on chat rooms for a few years and she had gotten emotionally involved with another man three years earlier but we managed to patch that up.

She stayed off the chat rooms for a while and then started going on them again but she seemed like she had learned her lesson so I didn’t really mind. Maybe I am too easy-going and trusting for my own good.

What a mistake that was.

Right up till she left I had no idea she had been getting seriously attached to a man in the chat room. Looking back now, I should have recognized the signs. She started getting calls on her phone and left the room to answer them, making out it was her older sister and the room was too noisy to talk properly.

It must have been the other man calling her all the time, right under my very nose.

Things had been getting a bit strained lately, she was never satisfied with anything I did for her and criticized me for the slightest reason. She also wanted her privacy when she was in the room with her laptop.

Just before she left, she told me she was going to stay for a few days with her two sisters in one of the sister’s static caravan on a local holiday park.

I assumed she was telling the truth, despite knowing what a consummate liar she has always been. Of course, she was lying and it was just a pretext for meeting him somewhere. I don’t know if she had decided to actually leave or was just going to have a quick fling and come back home, with me none the wiser. Maybe she changed her mind after meeting him, or he changed it for her.

When she left me late one Sunday night, around 10pm I was upstairs and never got to see her off. I only found out on the Tuesday morning that she had left because my eldest daughter came round and told me. To be honest, I wasn’t too shocked because I knew what a devious person she was and nothing surprised me any more.

The thing is, she is over 50 and a mother and grandmother, with beautiful grandchildren who she loves dearly – but she has thrown it all away over someone she doesn’t really know in person. I believe she is having a ‘Shirley Valentine’ moment like so many women of that age.

At the time of writing, just two weeks later, I still don’t know where she is, although I know a little about the man she has run away with. It seems he has plenty of money so that would have been a big attraction for her, apart from anything physical. Money problems due to her spendthrift ways has always been a major source of conflict in our marriage so maybe that was the clincher for her to leave.

I know I won’t be saving my marriage after this. I don’t want her back because she will never change her ways. I just thought I would get this off my chest and let everyone else know about the dangers of chat rooms. Lot’s of stuff goes on in private in them and this kind of affair has happened to loads of other marriages.

Please don’t be a fool like I was. Chat rooms can be marriage killers