For 30 years I have been working with individuals and couples as a Marriage and Family Therapist, and over that time I have heard a lot of stories about the struggles couples are having in their sexless marriage. Here are the TOP 10 Struggles in a Sexless Marriage.
Struggle No. 1
Frustrated Libido. That’s it. This one is pretty obvious. Some of us have a very strong sexual desire, and some of us don’t. The No. 1 struggle in a sexless marriage is that you, or your partner, or both of you are sexually frustrated. A fundamental drive is not being gratified and the frustration is very real. Sexual desire is simply low, or non-existent.
Struggle No. 2
The Frustration often turns into anger. You get frustrated when you don’t get what you want, and that often leads to anger. In fact, you might well be in a sexless marriage because one of you is angry with the other. If you won’t give me what I want, then I won’t give you what you want. Or, If you won’t give me what I want, then screw you!
Struggle No. 3
Control dramas begin, take on a life of their own, and are very hard to stop. Out of frustration you try to control your partner to behave differently, and the more you try to control the more you push your partner away. Anger and distance take root and sex turns into a battleground.
Struggle No. 4
Confusion abounds. What is going on? What changed? Why doesn’t my partner want me? Why don’t I want my partner? What can I do to change this? How long can I tolerate this? What will happen if our sex problem doesn’t go away? What can I do? Question after question, and the answers seem to be illusive.
Struggle No. 5
Your self-esteem sinks. In the beginning you probably found each other to be attractive, but now, that attraction has shrunk to almost nothing. The looks, the touches, the gentle and seductive conversation all of it is a thing of the past. Your self-esteem has been affected and you begin to wonder What is wrong with me? Am I not attractive any longer? Am I to blame for our sexless marriage? Shame and guilt stifle your life.
Struggle No. 6
Moral dilemmas grab you. You value marriage, and you want to protect the sanctity of your relationship. You love the kids and the whole family, but the thought of continuing without intimate, erotic sex is unbearable. Is this relationship too good to leave, but too bad to stay? What is the right thing to do? Should I stay in my sexless marriage, or should I go?
Struggle No. 7
You can’t believe you are thinking about an affair. What would it be like to be with someone who wants you, who actually desires you? Could you get away with it? Is it okay to have a no-strings-attached sexual relationship with someone else as a way of actually saving your marriage? What are you thinking? Listen to yourself! Well, you are thinking about it, and that frightens you.
Struggle No. 8
Where do you go for help? With whom do you talk about this sexless marriage issue? Your friends? Your spiritual leader? You medical doctor? Your sister or brother? Heavens no, not the kids! Should you go see a counselor and talk about your sexless marriage? Will your partner go with you? If you don’t talk with someone you will go nuts!
Struggle No. 9
You have to find a solution! You are driven to get to the bottom of this. Is it a physical problem? Is it a relationship issue that has you stuck in a sexless marriage? How about a personal problem either with yourself or your partner? Or is it a cultural influence that is interfering? Or, God forbid, is it a spiritual issue that somehow has you stuck? You are driven, almost obsessed with getting to the bottom of it, and fixing it. Fix it NOW!
Struggle No. 10
You frightened that your relationship will end of your sexless relationship. Disoriented and scared. You can’t stop thinking about your sexless marriage and you are headed for a panic attack. This is a horrific situation for you to be in and you are afraid that the lack of sexual desire in your sexless marriage will drive you crazy. The anxiety, the fear it is getting to you. You might just have to leave to get beyond the anxiety and struggle.
Yes, these tend to be the Top 10 Struggles in a Sexless Marriage. If you are in a relationship where you have sex 10 times a year or less, you might well be able to identify with many of them. The more you struggle, the worse it feels sort of like quicksand!
Ladies, if you feel the passion has gone out of your marriage and you need advice on how to make your husband fall in love with you again then you might be interested in: Get Him In The Mood.
It was specially created by a woman for all women stuck in a sexless marriage.
Yes I hear you. All of you. I am a 37 year old attractive woman who has had sex twice in the past four years. We have a three year old daughter together and if it wasn’t for her I would be gone. He is ten years older than me so maybe age is the issue. We were more compatible when we first met however now I am more into health and fitness. He still is overweight and smokes and would rather eat junk food and watch tv than be with me.
He lives with his mother during the week due to work so I don’t see him. Weekends are all about routine and catching up on sleep. I have begged with him to break the ice. After so many knockbacks I feel I cant initiate. I walk out of the shower naked, sexy underwear, lost weight etc etc. Still nothing.
He wont talk about it and just makes me feel guilty because he pays for everything. I am so sick of feeling undesired. Same story no hugs, kisses, no I love yous, My high sex drive has been wasted all these years and I feel pissed off.
I recently went on a website. I nearly had an affair with a married man. Exactly what I don’t need. To be used by some cheating prick who might give me a disease. However because I have no self esteem and I felt desired I almost caved. It may be the answer for some. I however need to express my love and sexual desire for someone I love. Someone I can walk outside with. Someone who is proud of me and me of them.
I am a 32 year old male and my wife is 37 years old. We have been married now for over 5 years and have two children together and she had 5 other children before we were married. Before marriage and during the first year or so of marriage our sex life was great. We had sex at least 3-5 times per week. After the first year it seems like things just slowed down. Our sex life began to become mechanic and started seeming at times like I was forcing her to have sex. I made the mistake around our 2nd year of beginning a verbal relationship with a younger woman. My wife found out that I was having these conversations with the lady and even though nothing sexual happened between us she still considered it cheating (as I did as well). We supposedly worked things out and she agreed to forgive me and try to work things out. During the period of us arguing about the other woman it seemed like our sex life again was great! We were having passionate sex regularly for about a week and I do mean passionate! It began to slowly decrease after that week. The next three years afterwards have been miserable… It seems like no matter what I do things are never good enough. She always wakes up arguing with either me or the kids and it continues seems like every day. Our sex life is non-existent now. We probably have sex about 10 times a year and when we do it is like “okay is this what you want? Go ahead and get it over with” type of sex. Out of sexual frustration I visitied a website that contained movies and explicit pictures of women. After viewing one of bank statements my wife found that I had paid for this website. After questioning me I admitted to her that I did visit the website. She asked why I went on the website and I tried to explain to her that it was a mistake and done out of sexual frustration. Her excuse for not being sexually active with me is always the same “I’m a liar” because of my mistake with the other woman 4 years ago. She always says that she has forgiven me but everytime I act like I really want to be intimate or if we argue about anything that subject comes up. Now since the website thing has occured I am a terrible husband and I will never be able to touch her again. Believe me, my wife is VERY ATTRACTIVE AND SEXY!! No matter how much I tell her it’s like she just doesn’t care and doesn’t care about my sexual desires! I am at a point that I just don’t know what to do. I love my wife and love my family but is it worth it to suffer for next 30 years and live miserable sexual life. It just feels like sometimes she uses me just to be a father and not a husband. She is also very controlling and likes to boss me around as if I am one of her children.. Any advice..
Simple fix..someone has to be the bigger person and discuss this openly. Forget that you are married…you should treat everyday as if you are still dating. YES…if you treat everyday as if it were a date or getting ready for one then you will begin to accept each other and continue to build on the love you one had.
Wedding vows are important but for a mans point of view…they is a hidden vow that they will take you as you are and not as what you will become. Most couples begin to loose them selves gaining weight, stop taking care of them selves.
It’s easier for a woman to accept a man that gains that beer gut because it more internally for a woman…for a guy it’s different (majority).
Date eath other and see what happens…it’s worked for my wife and I going on 10 yrs strong!
I’m married over twelve years to a lovely woman and we have two beautiful children. I was besotted with my wife from the moment I met her and married after six years of dating. I had been in relationships before I met her but she was head and shoulders above the rest. I respected her immensely and particularly, I never slept with her in all the time before we married. I had this notion that we would have utter perfection after we married and, with the exception of our sex life, that has largely been the case
Our sex life has been a frequent and sadly, a growing source of contention between us. I find it hard to cope with sex that happens usually once a month, or perhaps three times in two months if I’m lucky. I masturbate almost daily to help relieve the pressure and she knows this. I have had several discussions with my wife over my concerns and have tried to make the point that what is happening here is a source of real pain to me. I cannot help but feel that if she doesn’t lack the intelligence to understand what I am clearly saying to her, then she must lack the decency to try and do something about it. I don’t expect miracles and I do recognise that her libido is lower than mine, but I do expect her to try and what annoys me is that any effort that is made is usually token and short-lived before she regresses back to her usual ways. I really feel she lacks the will to want to change. She is not he one feeling the hurt and therefore believes she doesn’t have the problem, oblivious or perhaps ignorant of the fact that her very action (or lack thereof) is at the very crux of the issue.
We went to a sex therapist together last year. I had some concerns after about 6 sessions because the therapist called us in, went through everything we had discussed previously and announced that he felt we needed “therapy”. Practically all of the issues were identified with my wife. But I was particularly peeved with this because I had spent a lot of money to get that far only to be told things we already knew, but could not afford to go any further. With a different therapist we could perhaps have made a lot more progress in the same time, but we’ll never find out because we cannot afford to do it again.
Some of the things that the therapist mentioned sounded very gloomy because he established that my wife has a penile phobia, a dislike of semen, and viewed a penis in a very negative light. Certain sexual acts like simple oral sex are a no-no with her. These are not the sort of things any man wants to hear, let alone a married one. Part of me feels that my abstinence from sex before marriage denied us an opportunity to discover these issues much earlier, and who knows, these perhaps may have been a deal breaker then. It is her clear unwillingness to even try to change that is at the heart of this. But whatever, we are where we are and these issues are here and I’m afraid to say, perhaps insurmountable.
I have thought about leaving my wife but I do love her and I don’t want to hurt her or our two beautiful children. But I feel that I am emotionally handcuffed in a situation that I am deeply unhappy with and cannot change, improve or alter in any meaningful way. I want a sex life that is more regular, fulfilling, meaningful and loving. I don’t want to receive something that is given in an “obligatory” way for the sake of meeting an expectation or just “box ticking”. I have lost count of the times I have lay awake beside her in the dead of night trying to make sense of it all and not being able to come up with an answer and figure a way around this. I have poured my heart out to her on too many occasions only to hear the same excuses and promises with no long term improvement. But what can I do? I have run out of options. I have tried everything I can think of (weekends away, movies, flowers, shopping, clothes, romance in, meals, sexy underwear, walks on the beach, holidays, showering her with gifts (including a new car), grooming myself to the N’th degree, a new bed etc. You name it, I’ve tried it.
Pardon the French but where the f*ck do I go from here? Unless there is a miracle, I think we are headed for the rocks.
Nice to know that I am not the only guy going through a sexless marriage. Mine started in 2008. In that time span, I have had sex with my wife six times…two times a year. We have been married 13 years. It is a confusing time for me. I am a very handsome guy who works with a lot of women, I am a teacher. During the day, the ladies are hitting on me at work. I get offers to hang out with my fellow teachers but I am scared of what might happen if I hang out with them. Mean whille my wife says that I can have an affair. Talk about setup and confused. I am really thinking about walking away from this marriage. My wife does not touch me at all. Does not say “I love you”. So I am confused. Thanks It was great to talk about this to anyone and get this off my chest.
I feel a similar way as you do. My husband and I have been married 2 years, dated for 5 years before marrying. We are both barely 25 years old. I’ve always had a much higher sex drive than my husband, but we were able to work it out so that we were both satisfied. He has started a new job (about 2 months ago) and since then we don’t have sex, he wants to stay in his room all night and play video games. We have always slept in separate rooms for privacy sake (as we’re both recharged by being alone, and I am around people all day and like having privacy). We have separate bathrooms as well, which should help to keep some mystery to the relationship. Anyway, I am in fairly good shape (5 feet 11 and weight 150 pounds), but he tells me I could stand to lose some weight. I touch him all the time, make dinner every night, buy him snacks and treats, leave him little notes in the morning, but nothing is working. I’m thinking I should just get out of this now before it’s too late, but I do love him very much.
I have been married 11 years and been with my husband nearly 20. Our sex life ended completely about 9 years ago due to his impotence. He is 63 and I’m 46, I’m too young to give up on intimacy and passion and feel completly dead and joyless. He has sought help for this problem but in all honesty I don’t think it bothers him that much and has just given up. I still love my husband, he’s a good man, he still makes me laugh and treats me like a Princess but it isn’t enough. I feel bitter and resentful. I have had affairs (no strings liaisons with male ‘friends’) and whilst these made me feel alive and passionate – they were brief! I can’t leave him, I don’t want to but I’m deluding myself if I think it will get better! I’m not a ‘hottie’, just a middle age woman but I still have the desire and passion of my youth. I’m so unhappy and can’t see that this sexless life will ever get better!
I’m a 33 yr old Indian girl. Never married, never had sex with any man…still a virgin. I live all alone by myself. I work in a call center doing night shift and sleep during the day. Been wondering why cupid missed me…if I’d ever get married…if I’d ever have sex…if I’d ever have kids…when this hermit life would end. Reading all this I wonder if I should ever marry!
I’ve been with my husband for 13 years, married for 7. We are best friends and enjoyed the best sex ever until we got married. He started experimenting with drugs and had a heartattack. I stuck with him and nursed him back to health. I work all the time, he works and makes great money whenever he puts forth the effort. We haven’t had sex in over 2 years. I wear sexy lingerie, weigh 15 lbs less than when we first met, I tell him I love and desire him all the time and all I get back is “I know I need to get better at the intimacy”. He never hugs me first or tells me he loves me first. If I hug him, he pats me like I’m his sister. He swears he still loves me and the lack of intimacy is just laziness on his part. I’m in my mid 40′s and he is in his mid 50′s. I think he is very self absorbed and am really doubting things will ever change. I don’t know whether to just move out of our bedroom or leave him for good. He wouldn’t go to counseling for his drug addiction so I know marriage counseling is out. I love and worry about him if I do leave that he’ll go back to the drugs. I’m up for any ideas anyone has.
things started out great: lots of intimacy, great sex, good communication.
Been together 4 years. I’m 34 and he’s 39. Got married 6 months ago.
Things seem to have gone downhill since our engagement.
I feel like a piece of property. He puts no effort in, I am not allowed to have a say. And there is NO sex. I have tried being the instigator or intimacy, warth, support and some good old fashioned loving. But I am rejected at every turn. I am hurting so bad and so deep at being rejected so long, I can’t try anymore. If I try to talk about – I am just bringing up the past. He creates alot of social stuff with friends to fill up any time we might ever have alone and avoids coming to bed by staying on the computer til early hours of the morning. tried counselling and it was pointless.
I am a fit atractive and intelligent woman. Please help. What should I do?
I am a woman and have been married for a little more than 3 years. He is 55 and I am 45 years old. We used to have sex regularly but I also have to admit he wasn’t the best lover I’ve had, but I was extremely satisfied because he also gave me lots of love, affection, etc. Now things have changed and I cant understand why. I am an attractive woman, very well looking considering my 45 years old. His sex drive has died, he blames it on age. I am more and more angry, I have asked, begged him to work this, but he tells me I just have to get used to things as they are. I am still young as to ignore a very important part of me and of a healthy relationship. I really want my marriage to succeed but his indiference and coldness is making me feel very lonely and sad. Using nice underwear, neglige and things like that doesnt work with him. He even suggested he needed to some some marihuana to get “motivated”, I find that hurts me a lot…who needs to smoke marihuana to make love to his wife ??? Anyway, I am sad looking at my future and I dont know what I shall do. He doesnt want to talk about this or look for any help.
I am in the boat too. My youngest is 15. I hate to divorce even when they grow up, I want to have an intact family for grandkids and such, but I don’t know if I am wiling to sacrifice. I think it is legit to divorce on these grounds, even as a Christian. Here is an article on that topic: http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Live-In-A-Sexless-Marriage/1137528
I think the only way there MIGHT be a chnage in her is to be willing to divorce, but I don’t know if an empty threat will do.
We’re in tough situations.
I am in the same boat. I’ve been married 20 years to the love of my life. We have sex maybe 2 times a month but when we do it’s always the same. I give her oral then we have missionary sex and that’s it. She never touches me never show me any affection nothing. I’ve tried to excite things by suggesting toys, movies, taking pics of each other testing pics of her to me she hates it all. I’m miserable I hate feeling like I do.
I am late 20′s been with partner 10 years, not my first boyfriend by any means, but after 6 years of having sex 1-3 times a year, even when we were actively trying for a baby, I think I may have decided to just give up on it. I have tried time and time again, and different means to get him interested. After reading all your comments it saddens me, and i dont want to be with someone 20 more years and never have sex. We deserve it after all, deserve to feel like a women, deserve to feel wanted and sexy.
I hope some of you find the strength to move on to x
The one thing I’ve done is go with the flow.
Married 43 years approx 27 years without sex, intimacy and also love less. We both don’t love each other! I don’t because my husband shows no intimacy and stays as far away as possible . He says he just dosent love me and hasn’t for years. I’m a out going person and he has become very lonely, no friends to hang out with (recluse). We both have depression issues and my husband has had E/D for years. I didn’t find out till a couple of weeks ago. Were on a fixed income, he has good medical perks and pension. I asked him if I should leave. He said that wasn’t necessay this house is as much yours as mine, and I would have no place to go and really I don’t. So here I’m stuck in a well cared for clean home with no wants with a person who dosen’t have any love.
We were sexless for 9 years of an 11 year marriage, until I moved out, filed for divorce, lost weight due to stress, began to execise, adn started to feel great abuot myself…..now i look attractive and healthy, so does my husband. We still livbe apart, but are working toward reconciliation thru counseling on our own issues. I wear sexy stuff, and we have the best sex we ever had!
I just turned 33 in Feb and have been with my husband since 2001.
We have been best friends since the beginning of our relationship and had a great sex life early on.
Over the years our sex life has dwindles more and more to the point where I would be happy if we had sex at least once a week.
I’m lucky if we have sex 1-2 times per month.
I know that he looks at porn, masturbates, enjoys sex but he has no drive for it with me.
He is always up for a blow job though anytime or anywhere.
He used to give me oral sex too but since he has stopped that I feel like he don’t deserve getting oral from me if he isn’t going to give it in return.
He always wants me on top when we have sex and if not it has to be missionary.
I’ve tried even getting him to take a shower with me and he won’t.
I am a big girl but I do have a high sex drive and I have always felt attractive before not so much now though.
I am adventerous and open to many aspects of sex and I can’t understand why he is shutting me out.
I have cried and begged for sex from him.
I have talked to him till I’m blue in the face and even though he always promises things will change they never do.
I’ve even threatened him that I would find sex somewhere else if he wasn’t going to give it to me.
Now it seems I could care less if we have sex or not most nights.
I also don’t even masterbate much at all anymore, it’s like his lack of intimacy has caused my desire to go away.
All he wants to do is play video games for hours upon hours till he goes to bed.
He talks a good talk about sex but when it’s just me and him it doesn’t happen.
We still laugh together, kiss, hold hands, make out, but with the sex getting less and less frequent the bitterness is rearing it’s ugly head.
I am 28, he is 37. Have been married for almost 2 years. I don’t know what has happened.. We have a baby 14 months, had no sex during the pregnancy even if I wanted (he was afraid to harm him) and after the birth only 3 times none of which lasted long enough… I tried talking but all in vain. I have not got used to or expected things to turn out to be like that… Maaan… My partners used to fall in love with me after first night and he rejects me… It ruins the relationship formidably! I can’t find the answer… He wanted to use psychological sessions to help our relationship, but when he had found out how much they cost he just became better, but still no sex! Vicious circle, no way out as described above, want a lover, but it will destroy everything… why, how, heelp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got married when I was 25 years old and my wife was 20. From day one, we were fighting about the lack of passion and sex in our marriage. I love to weight train, eat healthy and I’m into “anything” that will “spice” up our marriage. My wife on the other hand was a heavier girl but never took any steps to go to a women’s only gym, thus low sex drive and no craziness or passion. After 10 years of marriage, I have gained 50 lbs muscle mass and she has gained about the same in fat, so now she is a very large girl. Still very little sex drive with her, nothing crazy or passionate either. We have never watched adult movies, been in the shower or bath tub together or done anything crazy, like most couples do. I’ve resorted to porn to release my sexual energy, which I would rather not do. I have turned down affairs, with women as young as in their early 20′s and that was as recent as 2 weeks ago at my company’s work party. And this hot young girl even told me I won’t tell anyone and your miss doesn’t have to know!!! I kindly turned this girl down, I even told my wife but still no sex increase, nothing changed!!! I am thinking, if anymore attractive women want me for sex, I am seriously considering it now and no more turning them away. We never cuddle in bed because she always wears socks, sweat pants and shirts, while I only wear my underwear and nothing else. When we go have sex, I can never kiss or lick her, she pushes me away to just have the sex part. I feel so sexually empty and lonely at times and I wish I never married her, knowing what I do now about her complete lack of taking care of herself……
Help me please if you can!!!!
Holy crap you described our sex life! Only my wife isnt fat shes hot as hell and wont let me do anything other than the mechanical act… IM SO FRUSTRATED. If sex was food then we eat gruel once a week.
Been married 35 years, sexless 20. After 15 years of 3-4x a year, and daily rejections, I realized I love her too much to ever ask her for sex again. So I don’t. I just do what I need to to get by. Porn, FWB, prostitutes, etc. She broke the marriage vows. I forgive her. All the excuses women/men have to be sexless are just excuses. Stress, depression, medications, etc. All the people I know who have noraml sex lives also have these things to deal with.
Steve, you make a a very valid point, its not ok for our partners to use that as excuse, and makes the other feel useless and worthless. Sex is a major part of a relationship regardless of what people may say, it binds you to each other.
I’m 47, my wife is 45. We’ve been married for almost 20 years.
We have sex 4-5 times a year, whether I need it or not. (Trying to be light-hearted about this.)
In addition to a lack of sex, I get no affection whatsoever from her. No touching, no hugging, no kissing. She never says “I love you.” She never touches my shoulder or holds my hand. Zero. Zilch. Nada.
I’m thinking about having an affair. Although I think it is sinful and damaging, I’ve resorted to porn in a misplaced effort to find intimacy and female beauty. I hate myself when I do that.
I don’t know what to do; don’t know who to turn to.
George,
I am in the SAME EXACT situation and hate it!!
Ditto guys. I do get sex sometimes but its so dull and she is obviously going through the motions through duty. I do feel guilty about the porn.
just leave.LIFE IS TOO SHORT
Only married 6 weeks. I was a virgin when we married, he wasn’t. We have had sex 5 times. Basically haven’t had sex since the honeymoon, which was a total disaster even outside the bedroom. Husband not interested no matter what I dress in or say. He rejects my advances and suggestions. Most people here have been married years and have kids etc, and boredom has set in or whatever, but 6 weeks into my marriage and there is no sex life. Not what I thought it was going to be like. I cannot believe I am now trapped in an unhappy marriage that I waited so long for. Is this what I waited for all my life?
just keave him.You are young and need to be in a loving sexual union.
I am 35+ male with two kids. When my wife realized that she had to discontinue her control-freak ways of dominating me, she started denying sex – we had sex 4 times in 6 years. I try to forget what she is doing to me, but sometimes I can’t – frustration came out as angry outbursts. Kids were getting scared of my outbursts so I had to stop. End of the day I still dont know if a viable workaround exists.
Now for a man i know its hard to admit stuff but i do admit that i kinda ruined our marriage from my past events. In the beginning my wife and i relationship was great then stuff became rocky and trust became a issuse. We fight off and on for the past 3 years. I trust my wife but somehow i cant trust her fully back then. Im in the military and during the time i was going on cruise we broke up cause i figured i didnt deserve her cause all the hurt i put her through. I drove her away and to the point where i turned her into a whole different person. Now the time i came back we decided to work things out and we got married the next month. Now back then when we first started talking we had sex everyday like 3-4 times a day but now we barely have any sex unless i say something or complain about it. It turns to a big old fight. I want things back to way it suppose to be. Does anyone have in suggestions cause i love my wife to death but i dont want us to have a divorce cause of not having sex anymore.
Surely a marriage without a sexual relationship as an intrinsic part of it is not a marriage? There used to be a legal concept (based on the biblical definition of marriage) of conjugal rights. This is defined for example in I Corinthians Ch 7, v 2 to 5.
If a couple that were married no longer have a sexual union as part of their marriage then it is no longer a marriage. The marriage has failed already. What is the difference between a platonic friendship between a man and woman or an engagement, in the original traditional sense, and a marriage? The only difference is that there is then in marriage a legal and God-given sexual relationship.
All of these difficulties result from the fact that we have lost sight of what marriage is supposed to be.
i feel so sad reading this because it mirrors my life im 35 + have been married for 8 years if it werent for my two babies i dont think i would be on this earth i feel ugly unwanted and ive tried so hard my husband went for the hormonal test and he was normal i cried that day because i then realized its my fault. i comfort eat and so its a vicious circle another excuse not to want me. i wish things were normal
I feel I can not talk to you about how I feel, we tried before and never gone anywhere, now with my 42nd birthday this week I feel again I need to do something for myself if I can with your help. I asked you several times many years ago and lost counting, we need help from counseling or something if not for your sake for mine. Please please, having sex 2 or 3 times a year is killing me!!! I feel so useless, don’t feel pretty any more, feel like I am worth nothing and I do not want to feel this anymore, reading on he net I found these issues and it is scary for me to realize I have been in almost all these which tells me we I am at the extreme case , my husband is not interested at all to address the issue what can i do ! we have sex 2 or maximum 3 times a year and that is already a struggle